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Three Recent Children’s Songs That are Actually Horrifying

The last year has been pretty great for music in family films. Despicable Me 2, The Lego Movie, and Frozen all had songs on the Billboard Hot 100, the latter even winning an Oscar for best song. We’ll, uh, get to that one in a minute. The songs themselves are, for the most part, delightful and catchy, if that’s your cup of tea. The problem comes when you actually place them in the context of their films. Then things take a dark turn.

Warning: spoilers abound

Summer Movie Preview

Love this guy.

It’s almost that time of year again: Summer Movie Season! *airhorn* No matter how jaded I get to the money-grubbing ways of Hollywood, I’m always excited for summer. I get burned by this excitement pretty regularly, but usually something unexpectedly great sneaks its way in. Last year, Man of Steel bored my red underpants off, but This Is The End was far funnier than a two-hour College Humor sketch should be. Also, Elysium was a g*ddamn mess, but I went home and watched District 9 for the 37th time, so all was good!

So, without further ado, let’s take a final look at these probable disasters before they eat your twelve dollars and waste two hours of your life!

(Preview, in this case, means unfairly judging a movie that I haven’t seen yet, based solely off marketing. Which is what you’re supposed to do, by the way. It’s called being a discerning consumer)