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It’s almost that time of year again: Summer Movie Season! *airhorn* No matter how jaded I get to the money-grubbing ways of Hollywood, I’m always excited for summer. I get burned by this excitement pretty regularly, but usually something unexpectedly great sneaks its way in. Last year, Man of Steel bored my red underpants off, but This Is The End was far funnier than a two-hour College Humor sketch should be. Also, Elysium was a g*ddamn mess, but I went home and watched District 9 for the 37th time, so all was good!
So, without further ado, let’s take a final look at these probable disasters before they eat your twelve dollars and waste two hours of your life!
(Preview, in this case, means unfairly judging a movie that I haven’t seen yet, based solely off marketing. Which is what you’re supposed to do, by the way. It’s called being a discerning consumer)
According to Entertainment Weekly, Warner Bros and JK Rowling are teaming up for a trilogy of Harry Potter spinoff films.
The Harry Potter spinoff Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them will be released by Warner Bros. as a trilogy of “megamovies,” The New York Times reports in its profile on the studio’s CEO, Kevin Tsujihara. Based on the Hogwarts textbook written by Potter author J.K. Rowling, the new franchise is an extension of her extraordinarily realized wizarding world. The films will follow magizoologist Newt Scamander and start in New York approximately seven decades before Harry Potter’s own adventures.
It’s really hard to tell what to make of this. As a fan of the book and (to a lesser extent) films series, I’m happy about it. But the term “megamovie” gives me a hell of a pause. A megapause, if you will. What does that mean, exactly? Is he saying the movies will be great, and just decided to convey it like a five-year-old? Or are we looking at some three-hour run times here? I really hope it’s not that. Hopefully the five-year-old thing.