Above you will find the teaser trailer for the Gritty Reboot™ of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Now, look. a part of me really wants to be cynical about this. I know, as well as anyone, that this a strategically produced and marketed attempt to cash in on the childhoods of my demographic. They recently launched a new series on Nickelodeon and a new line of toys. This is a product, through and through.
But I cannot pretend to be even remotely objective here. I read somewhere that if hindsight is 20/20, then nostalgia is 20/400. I’m completely blind. In my youth, I saw every damn episode of the original show, owned every action figure, and could recite “Ninja Rap” in my sleep. You can tell me this was financed by Al Qaeda and I’d still have instinctively thought “F*CK YEAH!” when Leonardo jumps off that rooftop.
On top of that, you’ve got A-List “that guy” William Fichtner and my third-favorite Batman Will Arnett. I also like that the turtles themselves are ugly and kinda scary. They probably should be; they’re f*cking mutated turtles. Man, when you take a broad look at it, this whole concept is so stupid. Anyway, here’s my money.