Category Archives: Uncategorized

Three Recent Children’s Songs That are Actually Horrifying

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The last year has been pretty great for music in family films. Despicable Me 2, The Lego Movie, and Frozen all had songs on the Billboard Hot 100, the latter even winning an Oscar for best song. We’ll, uh, get to that one in a minute. The songs themselves are, for the most part, delightful and catchy, if that’s your cup of tea. The problem comes when you actually place them in the context of their films. Then things take a dark turn.

Warning: spoilers abound

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Original Leads Possibly Returning to Star Wars

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Pictured: what should be on the Wikipedia page for “Crazy Eyes”

According to multiple sources, Carrie Fisher has stated that she, Mark Hamill, and Harrison Ford are officially returning to the Star Wars franchise in Episode VII. She reportedly broke the news to TV Guide, possibly while they debated which of them was the least relevant in 2014. In addition to this not being very good news, I’m also going to get myself a glass of water so I can swallow it with this giant grain of salt.

When it comes to Hollywood news, actors might be the least credible source of information, aside from a hobo sleeping outside of Grauman’s Chinese Theater.  God only knows how many times we heard confirmation of an Arrested Development movie by one of the show’s many leads. Then there was Tara Reid’s infamous talk of Big Lebowski 2 in 2011, which she probably mumbled after falling out of a moving car, before lighting the wrong end of a cigarette.

If this does turn out to be true, let’s hope for the sake of the movie that it’s a cameo and nothing more. Nothing against Hamill’s voice work, but the best thing Carrie Fisher has done recently was a cameo on 30 Rock in 2007 where she played a thinly veiled, batsh*t-crazy version of herself. Harrison Ford, meanwhile, was last seen in box office flop Enders Game, and also can’t seem to go out in public without getting high as a kite first.

It should also be noted that Fisher already said something similar to this in March of last year. Either people forgot, didn’t care, or dismissed it as the rantings of a coke-addled mind. All are the correct response. 

Forthcoming: comic book stuffs

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Comic book news and reviews are not usually my jam on here, since my love of comics is surpassed by that of movies and vidja games. However, I might start dipping my toes in, especially since both major publishing houses are in the middle of a much-talked-about reboot phase; I’ve been onboard  with much of DC’s The New 52 in 2011 and digging into some of Marvel’s more recent restarts.

I also happen to be reading all of the Before Watchmen run, because I love the original, and the weirdo backlash against it (which occurred before anyone read a single issue) is laughably absurd. Oh, is DC being unoriginal by recycling characters? This is a medium where some of the most popular characters in 2013 were created in the 30’s and 40’s. Also Alan More hasn’t created anything noteworthy in decades and he’s batshit insane now. My short reasoning: these are characters I love and want to see more of them, and they can’t be worse than the movie.