Glee 3D Bombed. Gee…

♫ One of these things is not like the other! ♫

People have been wondering why this movie has bombed, when the show is so popular.  Hmmm, where to begin…

I don’t want to knock the show itself, because I really have nothing against it.  Personally, I found the show totally watchable up until they had the football team dancing to “All the Single Ladies” to distract the other team.  I am far from a homophobic person, but…. yeesh.  That was the most aggressively gay thing on television since Oz went off the air.

But, yeah.  The movie.  It bombed, and for good reason.  Let’s examine the massively successful show: Rigidly scripted, hour-long, 2D dramedy that contains musical numbers integrated into the story. Now, let’s look at the movie that no one saw: full lenth, hyperkinetic 3D concert film that has some songs and people from the show.  It also does not contain Jayma Mays, who, despite her inability to be in a good movie and her ginormous eyes, is the most attractive woman on the show.

Surprise!  When you take something people love and remove everything they love about it, they stop loving it.  I would’ve thought studios would have remembered that lesson after From Justin to Kelly in 2003.  Argh!  I just got a nosebleed from remembering that thing exists.  G*ddamn it.

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