Zach Snyder in the Weeds

I meant metaphorically. Sorry for the confusion.

Weak, brah.  It looks as though the two projects that 300 director (and Hollywood frat boy) Zach Snyder are currently juggling are both hitting quite the rough patch.  Apparently his Superman “reboot” is experiencing some serious script problems, while his soon-to-be-released Sucker Punch is not testing well.   Vulture Reports:

Insiders say the closely-guarded script for Superman suffers from major third-act problems, and the studio faces a ticking clock on that franchise, legally speaking; if a Superman film isn’t in production by 2013, Warner Bros. loses the rights to the entire Superman franchise and would have to re-license it from its original creators — the estates of Detective Comics writers Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster — at great if not prohibitive expense.

Ah. Nothing drives artistic inspiration like a bunch of studio assh*les trying to outrun a copyright clause. Anyway, anyone familiar with screenwriter David S. Goyer’s body of work knows: you don’t shoot with his script. Then you end up with crap like The Unborn and The Crow: City of Angels. *shudder* You take his script, hold it upside down and shake it until the four or five good ideas fall out of it, then give them to someone who knows what the f*ck they are doing. Then you get movies like the new Batman series.

Christopher Nolan is producing it. Let him polish it. Sh*t, he can probably bang out a decent third act while in the loo after his morning tea and crumpets, that magnificent Limey.

As for the news about Sucker Punch:

At a recent Warner Bros.—conducted audience research screening of Snyder’s Sucker Punch, the film tested poorly. Says one insider familiar with it, “It was bad; like, really bad. They’re [Warners brass] really not happy with it over there.”

Excuse me while I get a glass of water to I can swallow this giant grain of salt. Look, a test audience usually consists of people found at a shopping mall in the middle of a week day.  This means housewives, old people, and the general unemployed. Sucker Punch is about…uh, well. It, uh….Okay, look, I don’t know what it’s about, but it has hot, scantily clad females fighting samurai’s, robots, samurai robots, orcs, nazi’s and god knows what else. It’s also probably very very violent.  And, gee wiz, grandma didn’t care for it. Shocking.

Side-note:  I’m not really trying to defend Snyder here. I loved his Dawn of the Dead, but 300 was overrated, Watchmen kinda blew, and I don’t give three sh*ts about talking warrior owls.

However, Sucker Punch looks kinda cool, and audience testing is bullsh*t. Cop Out? Tested well.  19% at Rotten Tomatoes.  Macgruber? “Best SNL Film Since Wayne’s World”. Uh, made about fourteen dollars in theaters (okay, eight mil, but that’s pennies in this business).  Do you see what I mean? It doesn’t indicate quality or audience interest. Also, audience testing is reason they changed the ending to I Am Legend, which was the basis for the f*cking title of the movie.

Can you imagine if it was like this for all movies? “Oh, I didn’t like all the violent ghost stuff. It makes my cats incontinent. Can you take that out?”

Too Scary!

Fixed!

Okay. Bad example. That’s awesome.

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