Fock You Guys

Travis Bickle wept.

Really?  Little Fockers came in at number one this weekend, over The Coen bros. True Grit.  Mother. F*ckers. No, I’m not gonna post the actual numbers, because there are dozens of sites where people who get paid to report this crap have already done that.  Meets the Parents was a eh-it’s-kinda-funny-I-guess movie from a decade ago and they turned it’s most lowbrow joke into a g*ddamn trilogy.  There are only two things keeping me from wanting to call in a bomb threat to the nearest multiplex: it still opened well below industry expectations, and Grit came in at a close second with the highest opening numbers for a Coen Bros. movie.

Whew  *Puts down phone. Climbs on soap box*

Listen up: De Niro, you better either retire, or fire the f*ck out of your agent.  Stiller, you are plenty funny when you are either (A) playing a ridiculously over-the-top character (Dodgeball, Zoolander, Heavyweights) or (B) when you are directing your own satire (Zoolander again, Tropic Thunder, the underrated Cable Guy).  Stop with this “Oh, I’m just a normal guy in awkward situations” bullsh*t.  It worked for There’s Something About Mary, because the Farrelly brothers were still funny then. They aren’t now; take the hint.

Everyone else involved in the making of this movie: feel free to get bent.

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